Orange Soda
by XxRoadKillxX
Summary: Kakashi throws a party for his team. Anko shows up with alcohol. One should not perform jutsu under the influence: nothing good shall come of it. Sasuke learns this the hard way. What's up with Itachi? Itachi did WHAT to Sasuke? Can you say oh snap?
1. The Party

**A/N:** here's something that I whipped up in class, oh, 3rd quarter. I think I started writing it in English, then I continued it in Math. I typed it up last quarter, and it's been edited a bit. There's nothing really explicit, but there will be...eventually soon.

* * *

**Orange Soda**_  
_

_Chapter I_

* * *

It happened in those in-between years; the times when adolescents experiment with all manner of everything. It is a nightmare handful of years for any parent. During these years, the parents of ninja children often wish their children were as complacent as those of the non-shinobi parents. It is during this time where children gain a sense of self, an independent personality, and, in doing so, transition form the world of children into the adult world. 

It is also known as rebelling.

Whereas non-shinobi parents have to deal with flaring tempers, attitude, a sex life, drugs and changes in clothing, shinobi parents also, on top of all that, have to deal with death, deadly objects, weapons, injury (often resulting in trips to the hospital) and their own tenuous jobs. Those shinobi adolescents that were privileged enough to be born into Clans had extended family to ease them on their way.

Many shinobi parents of especially rowdy youths envied those such as Hatake Kakashi, who lounged around reading dirty books all day when not on a mission. He was decidedly single and childless as a result. He had never had to worry about a team of genins, making his easy-going life that much less complicated. Or, at least, that's what his life's out-look had been before the three Academy graduates had, amazingly enough, passed his test and became the genin team infamously known as Team 7. The only upside to having to deal with adolescent shinobi, aka his team, was that he only had to deal with two of them. Technically, he was responsible for them whenever they met, but Sakura, being the only female, kept her personal issues to herself; gracing her family and friends with them. The only visible testament, in the team, of her adolescence was her sudden fits of temper.

Naruto and Sasuke, on the other hand, were two very different cases in a similar, almost identical, situation. Both Naruto and Sasuke were orphans, and both were hitting puberty…and that's about where the similarities ended. Where Sasuke was knowledgeable in the ways to properly care for himself, since he used to have a family and a rather large Clan, Naruto did not. Naruto, early in his life, contrary to Sasuke, had no one. He was briefly taught, or learned on his own, the bare minimum to keep himself alive. Where Sasuke's diet was balanced, Naruto's consisted of every kind of ramen imaginable. Sasuke's clothing was reserved, like the Uchiha himself where Naruto's clothing reflected his loud personality.

Both boys just wanted to be acknowledged. Not in "the last of the Uchiha" or "the demon-boy" but as Sasuke and as Naruto.

Among all the internal problems, Kakashi also had to deal with the threats that presented themselves to the two boys. Akatsuki, read Uchiha Itachi, the reason Sasuke is an orphan, and his partner Hoshigaki Kisame, were after the Kyuubi Naruto was landlord to; and Orochimaru, read legendary Sannin drag queen, was after Sasuke for his youthful body and Sharingan eyes.

Add that on top of bodily changes, rivalries, awkward questions and missions, Kakashi definitely decided he wasn't having kids unless his special friend was very…persuasive.

It was the Copy Ninja's rule, "if you're old enough to kill, you're old enough to drink," that eventually got the snowball rolling down the hill.

* * *

"Nice decorations, Gai-sensei," Ten-ten said tentatively. Their mission, paid for by none other than Kakashi-sensei, was to decorate a training area, not regularly used, for a party. Of course, when Gai found out that it was his "Great Rival Kakashi" that had, oddly enough, sponsored their mission, Gai had gone to incredible lengths to make the decorations "worthy" and "just". Surprisingly, Gai hadn't decorated every tree in the entire place, just a select few close where a few tables were set up with table clothes, bowls, cups and other party supplies. Gai-sensei had no idea how many people had been invited to the party, even though he himself had been invited, so they assumed a decent crowd was going to show up. Knowing Kakashi-sensei, he invited a small group; big enough where those who attended to be socially polite could stand on the fringes without taking away from the festivities. 

Ten-ten had had to take a nap when she finally managed to get home. Gai-sensei in his "Rival Kakashi" mode was wearing.

* * *

The day dawned just like many of the days proceeding it; hot and muggy. The sunny July morning was everything a perfect summer day should start as: the yellow sun, promising for a warm day, white fluffy clouds could be seen as vague, white shapes on the horizon and in no hurry to arrive in Konoha. Shikamaru would have a poor time cloud watching today. The early morning heat promised a hot, but not overly so, day. 

It also promised a rare, cool evening. Kakashi couldn't have asked for a better day.

Team 7, after an uneventful, for them anyway (with Naruto things were always interesting), day, Kakashi told them to get cleaned up and meet him at Training Area 20 before smiling and puffing away.

"We just got done with a mission and now we're supposed to meet him at a Training Area!" Naruto, surprisingly, complained. He had four packets of ramen waiting for him at home just begging to be eaten.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"At least he told us to meet him at a certain time," Sakura said in that informative way of hers. She'd make a great teacher.

"Eh? He did?" Naruto replied. His ears had conveniently not carried that bit of information to his brain, preferring to spit it back into the outside world.

"Really, Naruto," Sakura chided, "How did you ever make it this far with selective hearing?"

"Dumb luck," their stoic Uchiha teammate stated more than suggested. Naruto had been about to ask Sakura what selective hearing was, but instead turned his attention on the Uchiha with every intent on getting into a verbal spar. They often ended with the two sparring in some remote part of some obscure Training Area. But before he could utter something that would start them down that path, Sakura punched the back of his head. Hard. This effectively made the blond eat dirt.

"Really, Sakura-chan," Naruto mumbled, rubbing his head and wincing when his fingers came across a growing, tender knot on the back of his head. Eh, it'd be gone soon. "Was that really necessary?" The blond was gingerly getting to his feet. Blue eyes met green ones and Naruto, for all his willpower, looked away first. There was just something unsettling about the eyes of a hormonal, obsessed, angry ninja teenager.

Sasuke snorted; regally of course.

Six o'clock that evening found Team 7, and many other teams, gathered around the, surprisingly, and well done, decorated Training Area. Kakashi, much to the genin's surprise, was standing at the forefront of the group.

"Sensei?" Sakura asked, clearly confused. Since when had her sensei ever shown up _anywhere_ on time?

Naruto by now had figured out what was going on after checking his calendar while downing ramen as a thirsty man downs water. The short, blond Hokage in training grabbed Sakura's arm and dragged her behind Kakashi.

"Naruto!" she hissed. "What are you doing?"

Naruto shot her a foxy grin. The whisker marks on his cheeks impeded the attempt at being innocent. He whispered, "Sakura-chan; don't you know the date?"

Confusion was apparent until sudden comprehension flickered into a roaring blaze in those green eyes of hers. For being obsessed, she sure had to think before her brain came up with the precious information most girls had memorized early on in their lives. Some still in the Academy knew what today was, despite them being out of it for a while.

"Ah!" was all she said as she took her place next to Naruto behind Kakashi.

Kakashi, deciding that the ruse of reading was transparent, deftly, with much practice, put the book away. Without the Sharingan, the Copy-nin could see that Sasuke was curious, wondering why everyone was here, and apprehensive because he didn't know what was going to happen. It was time.

"All right, guys," Kakashi happily said in his bored tone. "I think it's time. Naruto, perhaps you should lead?"

Naruto smiled. "Ready?" the number one loud mouthed ninja of Konoha asked. "Go!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SASUKE!"

The last of the Uchiha in Konoha blinked, face lax and mouth slightly open. He had been expecting almost anything but the happily exclaimed statement. No one had cared enough since the destruction of his Clan to throw him a party. Sure, people gave him gifts and pastries, Naruto had occasionally picked a fight with him and they had sparred all day, but other than those fights, no one had truly desired to give him company on his birthday; only curry favour with his name.

This oddly enough, brought Naruto into a strange light in his mind.

The party got going and food and drink were put out on the tables, the lights were turned up and typical party games, with a ninja flare of course, were played. It was when Anko showed up that things got…interesting.

"I heard there was a party!" she exclaimed in all her happy, deranged, exuberance. "A party cannot exist without alcohol!"

It was at this proclamation that Gai, very seriously, confronted Kakashi.

"My rival," the green spandex wearing man began, "do you not think that our youthful students are too young to drink?"

"Old enough to kill, old enough to drink," Kakashi mildly replied.

"My sentiments exactly!" Anko crowed as she spiked the punch.

Gai gathered up his students and politely excused himself…what with Lee being a natural drunken master; he thought that alcohol and youth should not be mixed.

It turned out to be a more entertaining night for the jounins as the younger shinobi got more and more inebriated. Kakashi expected that Naruto was acting drunker than he actually was. Hm…he'd have to ask him about it later. It was clear, however, that both his teammates, Sasuke especially, were drunk. Perhaps Sakura was allowed to taste alcohol at home; perhaps she had a higher tolerance. Either way, she was better off than Sasuke was.

She probably had more body mass than the slight, bird-boned Uchiha heir. That had to be it.

Something being broken drew the jounin's attention. It was only Ino. She had slipped and knocked a punch bowl off the table. Said punch bowl was in several large and a multitude of tiny and small pieces. Whose was that again? Kakashi pondered it as Shikamaru came over, obviously quite sober compared to Ino, muttered how troublesome she was as he helped her over to a rock to sober up. It must not be important if he couldn't remember who it belonged to. Kakashi smiled as Ino was practically dead weight, tittering and giggling and spewing all manner of professions. It was at this time that Kakashi took the time to see who was still at the party. Asuma and Kurenai were present as were their respective teams. Anko was till there and still pulling booze out of her trench coat. With the amount of alcohol she was dishing out, Kakashi vaguely wondered where she kept it all; her coat wasn't lumpy or bulging or looked weighed down. Hm…he'd have to look into that. She was like a walking bar; Konoha's Party Queen.

However, his wondering soon came to a halt when his keen gaze noticed three very important people missing. Ino would probably notice when she sobered up, but Kakashi's detail oriented mind immediately picked up on it; his genin team was missing. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were absent. Since the party was for his team, read Sasuke's birthday party, the silver haired jonin was just a tad bit curious as to where they had disappeared to. Eh, nothing _too_ bad could happen, right? Besides, he had rigged the Training Area; the only safe was in and out was through the gate. He would know if someone set of one of his traps. Being content to the fact that they were still in the vicinity, Kakashi accepted Asuma's shogi challenge.

* * *

"So, we're back here because?" Sasuke asked. 

"Yeah," Sakura chimed in. "We're at a party, right?"

"We're also in a training area," Naruto pointed out.

Silence.

"Good point," Sasuke finally said.

Naruto smiled. He was going to take full advantage of this situation. Sasuke was, for a lack of a better word, drunk, and Sakura was right there with him. Naruto himself was only slightly buzzed; his body metabolized the alcohol too fast for him to get properly drunk. The blond ninja didn't know if it was genetics or…something else.

Either way, his teammates wouldn't know he wasn't drunk when it was _very _clear they were.

"We're going to train, dumbasses!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sasuke attempted his customary scowl; it didn't really work. It looked more like a pout.

Sakura scowled; it was working perfectly.

"I am NOT a dumbass!" she declared.

Sasuke was quiet for a minute before saying, "Yeah!" He pointed to Sakura as if this action would reiterate the words she had said that he wanted to communicate.

Naruto slapped his forehead. Is this what Kakashi-sensei feels like when they were being obstinate? He had a slightly, the breadth of a width of hair, more respect for Kakashi. Maybe. Naruto shook his head.

"Okay," he began, "this is what we're going to be doing." Konoha's Number One Loudmouth Ninja then proceeded to explain the technique behind his infamous attack. His inebriated teammates hung on to his every word, not knowing better in their state of mind not to listen or follow along with the blond as he hurriedly taught them the jutsu.

"But am I going doing this?" Sakura asked. "I'm not a guy."

It took Naruto a minute or so to understand what Sakura was getting at, his Sexy no Jutsu was designed for males to transform into females. Sakura was already a girl. Naruto thought about the technique and chakra aspects before he instructed Sakura to change a few key points. With her control, it shouldn't be a problem.

"Sakura, think of a guy's body and how you want yourself to look," Naruto instructed the pink haired Kunoichi.

Naruto had to stop himself from laughing at Sakura as her face scrunched up in thought. One would think she'd examine Sasuke…

…speaking of the Uchiha, Naruto saw he was looking at Sakura with the strangest expression. It looked almost black, but there was something…calculating behind it.

Naruto shuddered. Shaking it off, he slapped his hands together. "All right!" he exclaimed, getting his inebriated teammate's attention. "Let's do this!" Forming the hand seal, Naruto transformed into a naked, voluptuous, buxom blonde. Sasuke's Sharingan eyes copied the technique, just to make sure he had it right. Naruto poofed back.

"Okay…together now," Naruto said as Sakura and Sasuke had just watched him transform. With his statement, the two ninja nodded and formed the hand seal. Gathering chakra, Sakura molded it as Naruto had instructed and she poofed into a rather handsome dude. Sasuke gathered his chakra, but due to the alcohol in his system, had to focus much harder. His attention kept slipping to his teammates, the party the left, his family, his brother…

"Sasuke!"

The Uchiha's eyes opened wide as he focused on Naruto's voice as the jutsu took him. It was strange, feeling the jutsu working, changing him. When the smoke cleared, a pale skinned, lithe, long haired female stood before a Sexy no Jutsu-ed Naruto and Sakura.

"Damn Sasuke," Naruto muttered.

Damn indeed. Sasuke's clothes were still the same, but it looked like his shorts were going to fall off. His wide, irritated grey eyes were unfocused.

"Sasuke?" Sakura's deeper voice asked in concern.

"Shit, I'm gonna puke," Sasuke muttered. Naruto and Sakura rushed to him as he collapsed to his knees and began to vomit. Naruto held Sasuke's baggy shirt collar out of the way while Sakura gathered his hair so it wouldn't become saturated with the contents of Sasuke's stomach.

"You okay now?" Sakura asked when the Uchiha's heaves became less violent.

Sasuke scowled at the mess on the ground and spit. "I think so…"

"Sweet! Let's spar!" Naruto crowed.

Sasuke and Sakura, strangely enough, agreed.

Their sparring was vicious. Kunai, explosion tags, shuriken, Sasuke's Shadow Windmill and razor wire sang through the air as two girls and a guy battled it out. They used all manner of tricks and deception that they were taught or learned themselves. The worst wound was sustained by Naruto who took a kunai to the chest from Sakura who thought he was a Kage Bunshin. The wound only lasted a day before his skin was flawless.

Eventually, when the three of them became exhausted, they collapsed on the forest floor. A "pop!" and a pouf of smoke signaled Sakura's return to the female form; Naruto, who only knew what went on in his own head, for no one else did, stayed in his female form. It was Sasuke who didn't pouf, but slept on in all his feminine glory.

* * *

It was around dawn when Kakashi decided he needed to find his missing team. He left the mess the party had created as is; he'd pay a new genin team to do it. Hopping into the foliage, Kakashi searched a minute before finding the familiar chakra signatures and setting off. In minutes, the jonin reached a clearing…and became a little confused. There was Sakura, laying in an exhausted sleep. He could tell she would have a really nice hangover. To the right was Naruto sleeping soundly in his Sexy no Jutsu technique...odd. In the middle, Kakashi assumed the female with long dark hair was Sasuke, and Kakashi wanted to know why he was still…well…female. Naruto's condition could be explained though freakish stamina. 

Sasuke, however, had a lot of stamina, but it was no where near Naruto's. Making Naruto wake up, he made the boy carry Sasuke while he carried Sakura. Leading the three youth to his sparse apartment, against his better judgment, and resettled the three of them. Naruto had practically slept while he carried Sasuke, Sasuke was blissfully unconscious in his alcohol induced sleep, and he didn't expect Sakura to wake up until much, much later. He already began planning on escaping her if she was one of those angry hung-over drunks. He didn't envy her friends, Naruto, Sasuke, or anyone else who had to put up with her that day.

* * *

His return to consciousness was slow. Eventually, when his senses came back to him, he immediately knew something was wrong. Eyes opened slowly to adjust to the light, he took in his surroundings. The room he was in was sparsely furnished and smelled faintly of dogs; had to be Kakashi's apartment. 

Slowly hauling himself upright, he was aware first and foremost of a dull ache in his head. That was soon replaced with a weight on his chest. Looking down, the youth noticed his chest…his more prominent chest. Confused, he poked it and was slightly fascinated with the reaction. It was soft and pliant. He poked it again and shivered. A horrid realization dawned on him. Yanking open his shorts, he didn't see what he wanted to.

"What the hell?" He yelled in an unfamiliar female voice. Uchiha Sasuke was no longer the most sought after bachelor in Konoha of his age group.

* * *

Naruto opened his eyes and stretched. With a "pop!" and a pouf of smoke, Naruto returned to his normal, male form. Idly wondering why he had been in his Sexy no Jutsu form, his memory eventually caught up to him brain when he was halfway getting dressed. The party. The training in the woods. 

"Oh yeah," Naruto said out loud. Not really knowing where he was but not sensing danger, Naruto left his room and almost walked into his teacher.

"Mornin' Kakashi-sensei," Naruto mumbled.

"Hn. Good morning," Kakashi replied. "How was your evening last night?"

Naruto paused. He passed it off as trying to remember. He scrunched up his face in concentration, acting. He really didn't want Kakashi knowing that he remembered everything, or that he was playing a game with him, because he wasn't. Naruto just shrugged, and made some noncommittal noise, somewhat resembling a grumble, and mentioned something about sparring. Kakashi gave him a long look before ushering him to the kitchen to feed him breakfast.

"Ramen?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"You need variety in your diet," Kakashi informed him. "You especially." Naruto, looking slightly crestfallen, stared at the plate heaping with waffles. Grudgingly accepting the food (Who would turn down free food?) with little complaint, Naruto piled several of the golden, fluffy goodnesses on his plate before covering them in a generous helping of blueberry sauce and whipped cream.

"So you were sparring in the woods?" Kakashi asked Naruto. The young ninja nodded emphatically as he stuffed his face.

"What were you focusing on?" Kakashi asked again.

"Hnmkfn!" Naruto responded around and through a mouthful of waffle. It took Kakashi a moment to realize that the blonde had said 'henkan'.

"Is that why Sasuke and Sakura were the opposite gender?" Kakashi questioned.

Naruto nodded.

"So why is Sasuke still a girl?" Kakashi seemingly pondered out loud.

Naruto paused; waffle halfway to his mouth. "He didn't change back?" Naruto asked nervously.

Kakashi shook his head. "I was going to ask him some questions when he woke up."

Suddenly, an angry feminine voice that definitely wasn't Sakura, shouted from somewhere in Kakashi's apartment, "What the hell?"

Naruto looked at Kakashi as he swallowed his bite. "I think he just woke up."

* * *

_posted 29September2007_


	2. shopping?

**A/N:**_ Okay, so here's the next installment of Orange Soda. So sorry it took this long to get the next chapter out. I really didn't mean for it to take this long, those of you who are reading this. _

* * *

**Orange Soda**

_Chapter Two: ...shopping?_

"Sasuke?"

The boy looked to the doorway to see Kakashi and Naruto looking at him. Squinting past the pain in his eyes, he managed to see the two were wearing concerned looks. The light was much too bright.

"You alright, Sasuke?" Naruto carefully asked.

What the hell had he done last night? He felt like he was beaten, ground, digested then shat out. Ugh, the imagery was enough to make the boy want to puke.

"The bathroom's across the hall," Kakashi's bored voice boomed across the vast plains of his skull. "I'd appreciate it if you'd puke there instead of my guest room."

Sasuke gripped his head, hands covering as much of his vision as they could. Something was whispered much too loudly and soft, booming footsteps made their way carefully across the room he was in. Sudden, blessed darkness filled the room. He peered through his fingers to see Naruto had shut the blinds. He sighed in contentment.

"You seem to have...new assets," his sensei's voice pierced the contented state he was in.

Oh yeah. He had boobs…

…and other things.

"What the hell did you do to me?" Sasuke hissed at Naruto who froze like a deer in the headlights.

"I didn't do shit, Sasuke!" Naruto shot right back. Kakashi noticed that, although his ire was rising, Naruto was kind enough to keep his voice low. "You're the one who fucked up the jutsu! I showed you how to do it then your eyes copied it!"

Kakashi looked deep in thought. If what Naruto was saying was correct, then, theoretically, it should have been impossible for Sasuke to mess up the jutsu. But the results before could really be argued with. The Uchiha genius had somehow screwed up a jutsu to the point where it seemed that it was permanent.

"The Hokage might know how to…fix your…situation." Kakashi thought that the phraseology of his carefully placed words were enough to placate the obviously upset, hungover teacher.

"Fuck you, sensei!"

Obviously not.

"Come on, idiot!" Naruto said as he tugged on Sasuke's arm. "We gotta finish breakfast before anything else happens."

"I want tea and food now," an irritated female voice demanded from behind them. Sakura stumbled into the bathroom. The her two male teammates and jounin sensei shuddered at the killing intent wafting off the girl and then out from under the bathroom door.

"I'm gonna go finish my breakfast," Naruto carefully said as he hurriedly left the room and made his way towards the kitchen.

"Good idea, Naruto," Kakashi agreed as he followed. Sasuke, not wanting to get caught in Sakura's war path, followed the rest of his team.

* * *

The breakfast table was…tense. Naruto chose to be oblivious and just threw himself into his food with an admirable lack of manners. Sasuke, who was staring at Naruto in amazement –how could someone eat with that much lack of tact?- carefully ate his breakfast bite by dainty bite as he was taught. Sakura sat in stormy silence as she politely devoured her pancakes and a few pots of tea.

Kakashi wondered where she put it all. He managed to eat some when, out of the blue, Sakura's smiling face shone in his direction. "Thank you, sensei, the food was very good!"

"You're welcome, Sakura," Kakashi replied.

"Aren't you going to eat anything, sensei?" Naruto asked, a knowing look in his eye.

Kakashi scowled at the youth. He was well aware of the coup the three of them tried to pull, although he admired the way they came together and worked as a team, when they tried to figure out what his face looked like beneath his mask. "I ate before you three woke up," he indignantly replied. Honestly…

Naruto snickered.

"Perhaps the Hokage can help you with your problem, Sasuke," Kakashi suggested to the Uchiha as he daintily sipped tea.

"Sasuke-kun has a problem?" Sakura asked.

Oh boy.

* * *

Tsunade took her stethoscope off the back of her patient and coiled the instrument around her neck. The legendary sannin sighed.

"In all pretenses, you're as healthy as can be," she informed the youth before her and the assembled team. "The fact that you're supposed to be a boy…"

Sasuke scowled. Tsunade smacked him upside the head.

"What the fuck were you doing?" Tsunade nearly shouted at him. Even so, Sasuke, and Sakura for that matter, winced; still not entirely over their hangovers.

"Kakashi-sensei threw a party for him, Baa-chan," Naruto eagerly explained. "Everything was going fine, then Anko showed up and started pouring stuff into the punch. It tasted funny, but everyone was drinking it. I wanted to train, so I took the rest of the team to the back of the Training Area." Naruto paused.

"Go on," Tsunade said, giving Kakashi a pointed look. The jounin instructor only shrugged.

"I sometimes train in my sexy no jutsu form to help me improve my stamina and chakra control," Naruto confessed.

"That's amazing, Naruto," Tsunade said. "If you can do that and other things at the same time; it's valuable on undercover missions."

Naruto nodded, and seemed bolstered from the praise, because he continued with, "I taught my sexy no jutsu technique to Sakura and Sasuke and we trained until we passed out."

Silence.

"That's everything?" Tsunade asked.

Naruto nodded emphatically. Tsunaide cuffed him upside the head.

"WHAT THE HELL, GRANNY!" Naruto shouted.

"WHERE DO YOU GET OFF TEACHING DRUNK SHINOBI ADVANCED, PERSONAL TECHNIQUES? IDIOT!" Tsunade shouted right back at him.

"HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY'D FUCK IT UP?!" Naruto shouted back.

"DOES THE WORD DRUNK MEAN NOTHING TO YOU??" Tsunade reprimanded him.

"You do your job drunk, so why shouldn't they learn to work under the influence of things?" Naruto muttered darkly.

Tsunade looked at him, the wheels turning in her mind. She sighed a sigh of long suffering. She turned to Sasuke. "I don't know what you did, but I'm willing to study you until I find a way to fix this…accident. Whatever it was, it seems that your…seal is sleeping now."

Sasuke nodded. Kakashi's eye twitched. That was interesting news.

Tsunade turned to Naruto. "Jiraiya is coming to town. He wants to see how you're doing."

"Ero-sannin?" Naruto questioned.

Tsunade crossed her arms. "Show your elders some respect."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at her.

"Sasuke." The boy-now-girl turned his attention to the Hokage. "Jiraiya might have a better idea of what happened. When he comes to town, follow Naruto when he goes off to meet with him."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," the solemn boy replied.

"Team Seven is dismissed."

The four saluted before filing out of the room.

* * *

"Sasuke-kun! You're going to need new clothes!" Sakura happily exclaimed. "Let's go shopping!"

"No."

"You will go shopping," Sakura's voice informed him. Her tone brooked no room for argument.

"I'll join you two!" Naruto chimed in. He figured that Sasuke might go shopping if he weren't the only 'boy' shopping. He was right when Sasuke's eyes lost a bit of the look of repulsed horror. "Sakura-chan, you'll have to disguise me."

"Oh?" Sakura inquired. Sasuke merely arched one delicate brow.

Naruto fidgeted before he elaborated with, "Most of the store owners don't let me in their establishments."

Sakura's eyes softened. Even though she didn't like her teammate, she didn't _hate_ him. When you got to know him, he wasn't even quite as annoying. Sasuke seemed to view Naruto as a friend. She didn't know what relationship the two had, but they didn't hate each other as much as they professed that they did. She examined Naruto carefully.

"We'll probably need to use some cover up to hide your whisker marks," she began, "and maybe some eye shadow to bring your eyes out so they're the main focus of your face. Perhaps different clothes and a different hairstyle and no one will recognize you. We can go shopping as a Team! This is going to be awesome!"

How enthusiastic she was about shopping made the two boys shudder in horror.

"Sakura!" a familiar voice called out. Someone was running towards them that made most of the boys in the village shudder...except Shikamaru. Nothing seemed to irritate the nonplussed, laid-back individual.

"Ino!" Sakura replied. "I'm going shopping!"

"Oh?" Ino replied with avid interest.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other with abject horror. This day was not going to get better anytime soon.

* * *

_posted 17April2008  
_


	3. Tea Time

**A/N:** Sorry if this chapter gets a little weird at the end. I couldn't concentrate enough to write much on the next chapter of Phoenix Down, and I was almost done with this chapter, so I decided to finish it.

**Something to take note of:** I am VERY sick. I went to the ER yesterday for my tonsils and after all their tests they prescribed me a liquid pain med that makes me...kinda loopy. If anything's odd it's because I wrote it under the influence.

* * *

**Orange Soda**

_Chapter Three_

* * *

"Shopping?" Ino inquired. "What brought this about?"

"I have found that myself and others are in desperate need of clothes…and my mom has been getting on me about wearing the same thing for a while, not that she knows much about being a ninja mind you, so I guess I'll be needing different training clothes."

Ino nodded sagely at the explanation. Naruto was confused and Sasuke still wore the look of abject horror.

"I need to get washed up, so meet me at my place in an hour?" Sakura suggested.

"Sounds good to me!"

"See you!"

"Later!"

With that the girls parted ways, Naruto joining Sasuke in his confusion. Clothes for occasions? Naruto knew there were nicer robes and clothes that he wasn't allowed near or to buy from the shops that allowed him in, but he had no idea that they pertained to certain situations. Sasuke was still in shock over a sudden realization of the _kinds_ of clothes he was going to have to buy because of…new acquisitions (he refused to think of them as permanent).

"Okay! Now that that's over, let's get down to business." There was something in Sakura's voice that had the boys on edge; nothing good came from _that_ tone of voice. "Naruto, you're going to have to be in your Sexy no Jutsu form, and try to tone down the boobs a bit: no one's going to believe that you're a teenager with those curves that transformation of yours sports.

"Sasuke, we're going to have to do something creative with that lovely hair of yours! It's so fine! I bet you get it from your mother, she must have had a dreadful time getting it to stay up.

"Anyway, here we are!"

And here they were indeed. The whirlwind that Sakura, and most girls on a shopping high tend to be, introduced them to her front door. It was an ordinary door, like most other doors; sporting the house number and a mailbox. Flouncing up to it and opening the door, Sakura happily called into the darkness, "Mom! I'm home!"

Naruto had just enough time to pouf into his Sexy no Jutsu form before he was dragged into the house by a pink monster.

"Sakura! You have friends," her mother stated as she came out of the kitchen. Sakura nodded.

"We need to get cleaned up," she explained. "Ino's meeting us to go shopping in an hour or so."

"Oh goodness!" her mother exclaimed. "I'll make some tea and snacks. You girls go upstairs and get cleaned up! You don't want to keep Ino waiting."

"Thanks Mom!" Sakura called again as she hauled her two teammates upstairs to her room. Sasuke was still rather shell shocked and silent which was making Naruto wonder if the boy was okay. He poked his dark haired counter part and was immediately dealt a glare. Okay. Sasuke was fine.

"You can't go wandering around naked, Naruto, and Sasuke you can't go flouncing about without a bra," Sakura was talking out loud seemingly to no one. "Do you know what size you are?"

"Wait, what?" the boys replied, mainly Naruto. Sasuke went back to giving her fish impressions.

"You know, bras," Sakura repeated. She received blank stares. "Lingerie? Unmentionables?" Both boys shook their heads. They watched as Sakura got this determined look on her face. Outside, they looked perfectly confused; inside, they were quaking with fear. "You two need to be educated."

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A lecture and forty minutes later had the two boys knowing more about female anatomy and clothing than they really needed to know about. They were both wearing old clothes of Sakura's, underwear and bras included. Sasuke didn't even want to know who decided that women needed to wear them. They were uncomfortable and itchy.

"Stop messing with your bra, Sasuke!" Sakura chided. "It's irritating because it doesn't fit right. When we go out, we'll get you some that fit you properly.

"Speaking of, I can't just call you Sasuke-kun or Naruto when we're out and about…" Sakura put her finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Nariko-chan can be you, Naruto. Sasuke-kun…Sashito! Nari-chan and Sashi-chan!"

Sasuke scowled. Sakura gave him a dangerous look. "Aren't you happy with your female name, Sashito-chan?"

"Yes, Sakura, I am," Sasuke quickly replied.

Their pink haired teammate's face lit up in a stunning smile. "Wonderful! Nari-chan, don't touch your face; you'll smudge your makeup. Sashi-chan, you need to smile occasionally," she instructed them. "Now, let's go eat those snacks!"

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Footsteps sounded and then the door opened before Sakura's mother's voice could be heard calling, "Sakura, Ino's here!"

"Yes, Mom! We're coming down!" She turned back to the 'boys'. "Let's go!"

Flouncing down the stairs, Sakura and her two 'girlfriends' met Ino in the kitchen. "Sakura-chan!" She greeted, giving the pink-haired kunoichi a hug. "Who are you're friends? You didn't introduce us earlier."

Sakura turned around and motioned to first Naruto then Sasuke. "Nariko-chan and Sashito-chan. Nari-chan and Sashi-chan, this is Ino-chan."

Ino smiled brightly. "Hello!"

"Hi!" Naruto responded brightly.

"Hello," Sasuke greeted demurely. They both returned Ino's smile with a variant of their own; Sasuke's visibly more subdued than the rest of them.

"Mom made tea and snacks, so let's eat those before heading out, okay?" Sakura offered.

"Sounds like a plan," Ino responded.

Naruto and Sasuke followed Sakura and Ino into the dining room where Ino filled Sakura in on all the latest gossip that she had heard from the Flower Shop. Sakura listened judiciously and offered sage comments to which Ino responded to. Naruto and Sasuke felt very out of place. Before they knew it, the snacks were eaten and the tea was drank, and Mrs. Haruno was cleaning up the table. Sasuke was surprised that Naruto could eat with any kind of manners and decorum considering his upbringing.

"Now that that's done, let's be off!" Sakura announced. She grabbed Sasuke's arm, leaving Naruto to Ino (which Sasuke was silently greatful for and almost felt sorry for the dobe) and the party of four headed out the door into Konoha.

There were clothes that needed to be bought.


End file.
